Monday, February 7, 2011

No Greater High

I'm a fighter for all those who are coming up behind me with breast cancer and all those who are now struggling to survive. I am the face of stage IV breast Cancer we are the forgotten ones though we suffer daily, we look for trails, vaccines, we continue to take chemo and do what ever it takes to have one more day with our families. You don't want to hear this side of breast cancer because its frightening to know that some of us were caught early and we are now charted as "terminal."
I was diagnosed stage II in Aug 08 which means I was caught early and here I am in 2011 not knowing how long i am here on earth for. Breast cancer spread to my lungs, {NO I DONT HAVE LUNG CANCER IVE NEVER SMOKED) , I beat it once, the chemo was the most painful experience of my life it nearly killed me, I couldnt walk for so long im still weak 5 months out from it, and it came back within 3 months . made new nodules in my lungs. A sign to my Dr that I might not win this battle. Chemo is now not an option for me, I am on femera a hormone blocking drug it makes you feel miserable it takes a lot from me but its my only hope of having time. There is a vaccine coming but its probably 5 yrs out in the making, so many of us wont survive long enough to take the vaccine, but knowing that its coming gives hope, it makes me feel like this thief of a disease will soon be eradicated from our earth. The thought that no other woman will suffer like this brings me great joy. I don't want anyone to join the club I am in.
I have been told by many i am an inspiration to them but i don't feel like an inspiration i feel like a mom,sister,friend,aunt,grandmother, I am doing what I feel is the ONLY thing to do, there is no greater high then giving. I will fight, motivate, scream from the rooftops, and use the voice God gave me to spread awareness and hope to all my sisters. This is not over yet and i plan on making a big noise!

From the heart of a musician

Reflecting on how my life has changed in the past 3 yrs all with a phone call from a stranger, now someone I consider a dear friend is no longer a stranger in my life. Funny how God works,all my life Ive told people "Im a Rocker" i sang with rock bands and top 40 bands since i was a kid, but few yrs back i started recording ballads and things that noone could know i was a rocker at heart. I received an email on my space from this guy named John, it said could you call me id like to talk to you about music, he told me his background bands etc etc....I called him and met up with him and ill always remember his words to me, "Michele I know this will sound strange because you dont know me but i have a strong Christian belief and I really think I wrote songs for you to sing." The first song he played for me was "Shes a Rocker" and i just started to smile there it was what I was screaming from the rooftops at that time in my life in a state where no one knew where i had been and what i did..... In NJ EVERYONE knew who i was i had sang at every club up there. I knew he was right, God plays an important role in all our lives if we stop and listen, and when he sends someone to you its for a reason so pay attention. I paid attention....John my dear friend we may fight like brother and sister but we always get back to the friendship, this blog is dedicated to our friendship , I am so blessed. I wish for you much happiness and lets ROCK!!! MicheleAnn
Posted by MicheleAnn at 8:32 AM 0 comments
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Labels: breast cancer, john rainey, Micheleann, rock pink, shes a rocker, stand up and fight
Its the day after
Its the day after the Deland original music festival which I was privileged to perform at. If your a musician you know the feelings too well the high of being on a stage well there is no comparison to it,in the heart of a musician. My band "Chele Shock" played in a little club called Halftimes,our first thought was "Why didn't we land one of the big stages outside? Everything that happens is a blessing my second thought was the doors are open to the street we can pull people in and so we did.
Let me start you out from the beginning of this stage time. I was running late so I called band let them know I wasn't late for our stage time we were showing up a few hrs earlier. Few minuets later I get the call from john "There's no PA here the bands ahead of us are singing through their amps!" There was a band that sponsored that stage they were suppose to bring the PA for all the bands to use. So it was a blessing I was late but for me was a dilemma, how am I going to get the PA out of my house and in my little car all by myself. Remember I have breast cancer and not suppose to lift more then 5 lbs on left arm. Here's the old cliche the show must go on! I managed to do it and got there just in time,our band now sponsored the stage the band behind us was flipping out and asked can we please use your PA we said yes we kept it there for 4 bands then we had to leave.there is in my opinion no greater high then being on a stage doing rock n roll or any genre for that matter. You are born to music I feel and i'm still rockin in this world despite all the obstacles...i've been rock'in since the age of 18, I wont tell you my age now,lets just say I'm vintage wine !